INCONSPICOUSLY CONSPICOUS

Let me apologize. I haven’t written in a while, but I was gathering the courage and the wisdom to talk about this subject- the all too familiar gender segregation in Saudi Arabia.

First and foremost I want to start by saying that I have high reverence for the Muslim Religion.  I know firsthand the kindness and compassion that is espoused by the Quran. As for culture, I believe that it is relative. People have to adapt, and as such so do their political, religious and social mores. That adaption isn’t always favorable to me, an independent, ambitious, loud mouth, Western Attorney, but I have to accept various cultural norms especially if I have made a conscious choice to be on their terrain.

Gender segregation in Saudi Arabia is exactly what it expresses.  The sexes, male and female, are to remain separate in social gatherings, education, places of work, especially government, restaurants and other public accommodations. This means  that when you visit the mall and you want fries from McDonald’s, there are two distinct lines.  One line is the male only line the other line is the family section line, which serves primarily women and their children. When it’s time to eat those fries, there are two distinct seating areas one for single men and the other for families. 

I experienced the sting of gender segregation in mid-April. I was at a lecture in downtown Riyadh.  The men were seated on one side of the room, and the women on the other. There were fewer men, but their section took up three-fourths of the seating arrangements. We as women were crowded together in the rest of the space and there was a partition separating us. The podium, of course, was on the male side. There were many dignitaries present, both Saudi and American, and I being the ambitious little vixen that I am decided that I was going to network and put my name and qualifications “out there” after the lecture.   It never dawned on me that we as women would be whisked away to a smaller dining room and we would have to eat our meals separate from the men.  The buffet was marvelous, but as I was eating my meal I had one of my famous epiphanies – I could never really advance here as a women because I did not have access to the “powers that be”-the men. Then it dawned on me, yet again, if I did gain access would they even entertain me and acknowledge my credentials? After this experience my perception of my existence in Saudi Arabia changed completely.

As a woman, living and working in Saudi Arabia, especially a foreign woman, my value and importance are insignificant.   Most men in Saudi, including many foreigners, “see” me when they want to “see” me or when they need to “see” me. Apart from that, there is no difference between me and a brick wall, and I am   treated accordingly. For the first time in my life, I feel that I have been allotted to a “place” and if I step out of the boundaries of that “place”, punishment can range from frustration and humiliation to imprisonment and expulsion from the Country. I never thought that I would experience the confines of that “place” based on my gender. I always thought it would come to play because I am African American.

What now? I am very careful. Less ambitious about the contributions that I can make in Saudi. I expect nothing and demand even less.  However, I still believe that I have a mission here, and as such I will finish what I have started. 

Until next time,

Alex