JORDAN

September started off with a bang! Classes started, new students, and I had to leave Saudi in order to renew my visa. I am fortunate that I was able to renew in Jordan.

Jordan was a welcome change. The people there are warm, friendly, kind, and  polite. There is no gender segregation, so I actually flirted for the first time in months. After being in Saudi, I sincerely thought that I had lost it. Nope! Alex still has it!

Folks it gets better... there are liquor stores and movie theaters. I didn't see a movie, but I did frequent the liquor store. I did not have to wear an abaya, and women have the right to drive. Did some sightseeing and ate at some really good restaurants. I had Armenian Food for the first time. That restaurant was awesome. I was quite comfortable there, but it was business and not pleasure, and  getting my visa and heading back to my students and my belongings weighed heavy on my mind.

I am happy that I did make it back after nine days, but while there I realized all that I was missing.  I miss my freedom.  I miss the unalienable right to be me. The ability to "hang out with the girls" without thinking about my gender or my nationality. While there, I met a gentleman who used to live in Philadelphia. He is Jordanian and owns a restaurant-"Planet Hollywood" in Jordan.  Surprisingly it wasn't the fact that I  met someone who used to live in Philly that tickled me. What tickled me, or what touched me the most, was that I was able to have a conversation with a male without feeling that I was being judged or that  being addressed by him was a necessary evil that he had to endure in order complete some task or another. I felt human again. I was somewhere where my intelligence, my smile, and my desires all mattered. I mattered.......and that my friends gave me the strength to endure.

Until next time,
Alex

IT'S PRAYER TIME...

BEING IN SAUDI ARABIA AWKWARD MOMENT NO. 5-  ...When you suddenly have to  rush to the store and it’s scorching outside.  You’re half way there and realize that all businesses are closed because it’s prayer time.

BEING IN SAUDI ARABIA AWKWARD MOMENT NO 6- You finally memorize the prayer schedule... You suddenly have to rush to the store and it’s scorching outside. You’re half way there and realize that all businesses are closed until sundown because it’s Ramadan.

…..welcome to Alex’s world!

Until next time,

Alex

IT'S QUIET HERE

...Going into the third week Ramadan.  During Ramadan Saudi Arabia becomes a night culture. Muslims fast and sleep during the day and activities resume after sun down until the wee hours of the morning. Most malls are open until 3:00 AM. Unfortunately for me, I had a hard time getting my body to adjust to the local time when I came back from the States, as such, I remain a day person in a night culture. Yes, it can be very frustrating.

Nothing happening at KSU. Non-KSU teachers were not assigned any classes, so basically all non-KSU instructors chill during the day, unless we have to substitute or proctor.  I CAN"T WAIT TO GET BACK TO  PNU!.

Insights... I really believe I have become immune to the constraints associated with living here. My attitude most of the time now is "oh well". Best survival mechanism ever. Am I still trying to make an impact? Of course! However,  now I see all obstacle as what they really are..a manifestation of my presence in a foreign culture. As such, nothing is taken too personally and it's so much easier to trudge along.

I'm Back!

I was home, the U.S., from June 12 until July 9^th.  It was busy, but  a lot was accomplished. I moved.  I finished my continuing legal education requirements, got published and most of all I saw and hung out with some wonderful friends. Unfortunately I did not have an opportunity to visit with friends in NYC.  However, my next visit home will be dedicated solely to them.

I’m back in Saudi. It’s hot! Terribly hot! I am on standby to teach summer school at King Saud University (KSU). This means that I go to work every day, and if an extra hand is needed one of the Princess Nora teachers is asked to cover.  Otherwise I read, research, talk, laugh and get to know the other brave women who have also embarked on this Saudi journey.

Ramadan starts on the 20^th of July and ends on the 20^th of August. During this period Muslims fast (no food, water or other beverages) from dawn until sunset.  Ramadan is a time for cleansing both the body and the soul. From what I have been told everything during this period happens after sunset-food, drink, shopping, etc. Our students are required to come to school, but school hours have been reduced.

Although I am not Muslim, I plan to take this time, and I have plenty of it, to reflect on and make some firm determinations concerning my immediate future. We all know that time flies, and very soon I have to start taking action as to what exactly I want to do and where I want to do it.

Ramadan is also going to be a challenge because I have to keep in mind that everyone around me can’t eat and drink as they please.  Most stores will only open after sundown, therefore I have to plan my grocery shopping and junk food runs accordingly.

Am I happy to back? I really can’t say.  All I know is that I have accomplished significant goals, both conspicuous and inconspicuous since February. And as such, I sincerely appreciate the journey.

Until next time,

Alex

INCONSPICOUSLY CONSPICOUS

Let me apologize. I haven’t written in a while, but I was gathering the courage and the wisdom to talk about this subject- the all too familiar gender segregation in Saudi Arabia.

First and foremost I want to start by saying that I have high reverence for the Muslim Religion.  I know firsthand the kindness and compassion that is espoused by the Quran. As for culture, I believe that it is relative. People have to adapt, and as such so do their political, religious and social mores. That adaption isn’t always favorable to me, an independent, ambitious, loud mouth, Western Attorney, but I have to accept various cultural norms especially if I have made a conscious choice to be on their terrain.

Gender segregation in Saudi Arabia is exactly what it expresses.  The sexes, male and female, are to remain separate in social gatherings, education, places of work, especially government, restaurants and other public accommodations. This means  that when you visit the mall and you want fries from McDonald’s, there are two distinct lines.  One line is the male only line the other line is the family section line, which serves primarily women and their children. When it’s time to eat those fries, there are two distinct seating areas one for single men and the other for families. 

I experienced the sting of gender segregation in mid-April. I was at a lecture in downtown Riyadh.  The men were seated on one side of the room, and the women on the other. There were fewer men, but their section took up three-fourths of the seating arrangements. We as women were crowded together in the rest of the space and there was a partition separating us. The podium, of course, was on the male side. There were many dignitaries present, both Saudi and American, and I being the ambitious little vixen that I am decided that I was going to network and put my name and qualifications “out there” after the lecture.   It never dawned on me that we as women would be whisked away to a smaller dining room and we would have to eat our meals separate from the men.  The buffet was marvelous, but as I was eating my meal I had one of my famous epiphanies – I could never really advance here as a women because I did not have access to the “powers that be”-the men. Then it dawned on me, yet again, if I did gain access would they even entertain me and acknowledge my credentials? After this experience my perception of my existence in Saudi Arabia changed completely.

As a woman, living and working in Saudi Arabia, especially a foreign woman, my value and importance are insignificant.   Most men in Saudi, including many foreigners, “see” me when they want to “see” me or when they need to “see” me. Apart from that, there is no difference between me and a brick wall, and I am   treated accordingly. For the first time in my life, I feel that I have been allotted to a “place” and if I step out of the boundaries of that “place”, punishment can range from frustration and humiliation to imprisonment and expulsion from the Country. I never thought that I would experience the confines of that “place” based on my gender. I always thought it would come to play because I am African American.

What now? I am very careful. Less ambitious about the contributions that I can make in Saudi. I expect nothing and demand even less.  However, I still believe that I have a mission here, and as such I will finish what I have started. 

Until next time,

Alex

My Weekends

It's Thursday for many of you, but for me it's the weekend. In most Arab countries the weekend is Thursday and Friday. Friday being equivalent to Sunday.

I'm still trying to figure out what these girls really want and what Saudi culture wants of them. It's interesting and frustrating at the same time.

It's interesting because it's new and gives me lots to think about, and it's frustrating because of the language barrier and because education is so much more than reading, writing and arithmetic. It  also entails respect, punctuality, listening and working well with others. It is so difficult to reinforce this to my students. They seem to want to brush everything off, but in the real world problems don't disappear and they are not solved by pouting or giggling.

As for me, I'm drained this week. My days are long, and it seems that everything that I do or say in the classroom is in vain. I'm also assessing my personal life. I know which road I want to travel career wise, but I would love to have a caring and sincere partner to take the journey with me. I am constantly wondering if he's out there, and is so, is he already in my life?......Things you think about when you're single and in Saudi....Anyway as always I will not be defeated. Faith, persistence and patience always yield great rewards!

Until next time,
Alex

Who's on Third?

Happy Easter Folks!

Frustrating week. It seems that I am in a situation, at work, where I am giving 100%, but I really don't know what the actual game plan is.  Western teachers are expected to behave in a professional, honest and straight forward manner, but are the students and Saudi culture in general ready for our demeanor?

Change is constant, and in some cases may take centuries. As such, I sincerely  hope that my presence here is making a significant  difference. I want my students to flourish, and I want them to accomplish all that their hearts' desire. However, Saudi Arabia isn't the world, and if they are going to do great things, they must realize what the world outside of Saudi expects of them. I hope I am in rhythm with the big picture.


On a more personal note.... It's getting warmer here every day . Summer clothes are displayed in all the shop windows, and the energy associated with warm weather seems to be everywhere. The students are restless. They are thinking about exams and vacation, and the teachers are just as restless, thinking about home, vacation and in some cases what they are going to do with the rest of their lives. If you can make in Saudi as a single Western woman, you can make it anywhere. Me...I'm trying to take it one day at a time.


Until next time,
Alex